Saturday 19th August
Good weather - good view of sea and shipping - found dining room and took table in corner (moved to window on future days)
Went to 'Welcome' meeting - both of us broke down in front of travel company rep when buying telephone cards - followed us to lift - said he would find us and chat later - spoke to receptionist about room - immediately changed it - got much larger room - again great view.
Wandered around and saw old haunts - phoned home - very upsetting listening to Jani and trying to be positive.
Sunday 20th August
Session with holiday rep at pool - suggested we have a chat away from hotel environment - thankfully didn't happen - guy meant well but reckon he had lot of personal problems himself.
For remainder of holiday we walked, talked, phoned home and cried a lot.
Very difficult watching families with two or three healthy, happy children without saying - why us?? - why Ellie?? - it's not fair - even though we know deep down everybody has problems.
Not the usual holiday photographs with me being captured with pint in hand, at numerous venues throughout the island - this time it was boats or horses.
We met a really lovely couple from Wales ( probably in their 80's) and would you believe it, I cried in front of them when they were saying goodbye. We had told them about Ellie and they were genuinely sympathetic and wished us good luck - we also met a nice couple from Scotland and exchanged addresses.
Friday 1st September
Walked about a bit in morning before leaving for airport around 1 o'clock - took almost 2 hours to check in due to crowds - flight was delayed for 50 minutes - had couple of rather large Bacardi and coke.
Jani, Luke and wee lady collected us at airport - Dee on night out following successful completion of course at work - wee man had his usual ride out of terminal to car park, on suitcase - felt quite ill on trip back to house -remember those two rather large Bacardi and coke??
Sat up late - highs and lows.
Saturday 3rd September
Stayed around house all day - Dee not in great shape after night out - don't think he really appreciated Spanish accordian we brought wee man back from Menorca - usual tears and discussion - caught Jani shaking her head and dropping a tear over Ellie in her Moses basket.
Sunday 3rd September
All went to Edinburgh zoo - we wanted Jani and Dee to go to fireworks display which offically ends Edinburgh festival - didn't go. I went for a beer with Dee - further discussions - no progress - going to be a long haul
Dee's sister invited out for dinner - didn't make it - held up by fun run in Glasgow ( staying there for week-end)
Monday 4th September
Audrey, Jani, Ellie and me went to a shopping mall a short distance away - Jani broke down in the cafe - we had to leave - Dee left wee man to nursery and went mountain biking.
In afternoon girls and Luke went a walk down the front - I glazed the summerhouse and met up with them at the Hawes (pub/restaurant)- phone off hook over dinner - missed call from Dee's mum.
Tuesday 5th September
I left wee man to nursery and said cheerio to him - got wee bit choked up - me not him.
Very quiet round house - all kept up on way to airport but tears saying goodbye - felt as if we were 'walking out' on Jani and Ellie when they really needed us.
Ali met us at the airport in Belfast - her and Audrey got into a terrible state - had to try and keep up. Journey back in car heartbreaking - all talking about how sorry we felt for Jani and reflecting on the things she said over the last few weeks - the great hopes she had for her baby daughter - where are they now?
Hannah gave us a bit of a lift when Ali collected her from her other grand-parents.
Don't know how Audrey is going to lift herself to go to work tomorrow.
